The Power of Gratitude
As important as brushing your teeth
From a young age, we’re taught how to be many things.
When we learn to look both ways before we cross the street, we’re taught how to be safe.
When we learn to say please and thank you, we’re taught how to be polite.
When we learn how to get good grades in school, we’re taught how to be successful. Only to then have the rude awakening that being successful in the real world is a whole other story. But I digress…
When we learn about money and see symbols of wealth all around us, we’re taught the importance of being rich.
When we watch commercials on TV, we’re taught to use the money we earn to buy more things.
When we learn to brush our teeth every morning and night, we’re taught how to be physically healthy.
But how many of us were taught how to be mentally healthy? To be happy, content, and truly fulfilled?
How many of us are led to believe that good mental health, happiness, contentment, and fulfillment are even within reach?
Personally, I didn’t learn how to proactively take care of my mental health and prioritize my own happiness until I was an adult. But I’m so grateful I did learn! Many people go their entire lives thinking that mental health is *purely a byproduct of their genetic makeup and external factors.
*It’s important to note that while studies differ, the consensus seems to be that happiness is 50% determined by biology/genetics, 10% by life circumstances, and 40% by intentional activity.
Dan Harris built a robust brand around becoming 10% Happier. By the way, his book and podcast are great.
But you’re telling me that I can become 40% happier through intentional actions?? That’s huge.
If you’re anything like me after reading that study, your next question may be:
What are those intentional actions that will make me happier?
To which experts would respond – lots of things! I’ll shout from the rooftops about the importance of meaningful relationships, time outside, and meditation. But the habit that has made the biggest difference for me:
A daily gratitude practice.
My personal gratitude practice has evolved a lot since I started experimenting with it in 2016. Which I guess is the first lesson here: make it work for you.
While I hope you’re able to implement a way to practice gratitude that’s unique to who you are, in a bit I’ll share more about my practice in case it sparks inspiration for yours.
But first, why is a daily gratitude practice so valuable?
According to evolutionary psychology, we're wired to pay close attention to threats to our survival. Think about it - our ancestors who survived over hundreds of thousands of years in harsh and dangerous living conditions were those best able to see and respond to threats to their survival. So we’re all descendants of ancient humans who were really good at focusing on threatening things happening in their world.
Every major media outlet and big tech company knows this. That’s why our news is dominated by threats to our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual survival and wellbeing.
In other words, we're conditioned to pay attention to everything that's wrong with the world - and with ourselves.
In my experience, a daily gratitude practice where you intentionally direct your attention to everything that's right, good, and beautiful, is the best antidote. You won’t lose the ability to spot threats. You’ll just have a more balanced perspective on your own life and the world at large - which in my experience, actually makes us more capable of tackling real threats and challenges when they arise.
Whether you have a gratitude practice or not, I’ll share what mine looks like in case it sparks inspiration for yours:
Every morning, I look into the prior day for things to be grateful for. First, I write down as many things as I can from memory, from the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep. Then I look through my calendar, text messages, emails, notes, and photos. When I do this, I feel like a news anchor reporting on the life of Brian – but a news anchor from the 1970’s before the media figured out that whole evolutionary psychology thing and the race to capture our attention in the interest of ratings, winning advertising dollars, and increasing shareholder value took over. But again, I digress…
When I first started doing this over 5 years ago, I would write down a few things every day. Now I fill up at least a page in my notebook - often two or three pages.
Like creativity, gratitude can't be used up. Rather, the more you exercise your gratitude muscle, the more gratitude you're able to find everyday.
As I’ve practiced and flexed the gratitude muscle over the years, I've noticed the compounding benefits of what has become a keystone habit that fuels the rest of my life.
My morning gratitude practice has helped me:
Acknowledge and celebrate progress, something I wrote about on LinkedIn a while back.
Be more optimistic about the possibilities for myself, others, and the world.
Have a more positive outlook on life as a whole.
Feel less reliant on praise and appreciation from others, because I’m giving it to myself every day.
Feel more energized, present, and alive throughout the day.
See every challenge as an opportunity.
Remember, savor, and extract the learning from my lived experience – my memory has drastically improved from this practice.
Develop deeper levels of self-understanding - with that comes confidence and self-love.
Remember who I am and trust myself more, because I have the receipts in my gratitude journals.
Embody an attitude of gratitude and find more things to be grateful for.
I don’t just practice gratitude when life is going well. Life goes well when I practice gratitude.
Now, I'm curious to hear from you.
What are you grateful for today?